Wednesday, March 9, 2011

From The Bag of Tricks: O Caritas!


Some Sundays Tuesdays are better than others. Such was the case for moi last eve, as I galloped into the forbidden regions of the night with sisters Lea and Valerie [family name withheld] of the Tuscon Waukesha [family name withheld].

Let's just say that the pic to your left was just north of 9:30 and just south of a loving gaggle of sibling nudity that soon engulfed me in a passionate DelVecchiwich.

I said "church choir."  You laughed.  I said "ice cream social." You snickered.  I said "ultra control top hosiery." You scoffed.  Well who's laughing/snickering/scoffing now?

But just because you had a double date with a sixer of Keystone Light and three hour block of Time Warner quasi-smut doesn't mean that your night wasn't the equal of mine. In fact, without your grim celibacy, this post would not exist. And my dogs would have gone hungry.

Bless you, you. Your special brand of sexlessness inspires me in ways you cannot possibly fathom.

Say hello to your parents,
Denny DelVecchio

9 comments:

Love in the Dumps said...

Denny, what did you do to that poor woman?

Leila said...

The writing was too pornographic for me. I had to turn away!

Bearman said...

What? No mention of the Buddha lamp?

singlegirlie said...

This was one of the first Denny posts I read, and possibly the one that made me fall head over crotch in lust.

Love to Lea and Valerie, lucky bitches.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Dumps: Which one?

@L: Avert your eyes.

@Bear: It's Shinto, I think. Whatever that is.

@Single: I had one reader back then.

Dr. Cynicism said...

Giggity.

Denny's 1st Cousin and First "2nd Base" said...

Not only is the name just missing and h, but the absence of gym and sex are just to close to a biography of me.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Doc Sin: More less.

@Cuz: That pretty much sums it up.

bschooled said...

I thought the DelVecciwich was reserved exclusively for Sweet 16 parties and while listening to Olivia Newton John's "Let's Get Physical"?