Monday, July 18, 2011

Advance #81: Project Mindfuck

Denny's trouser-bag is full but his mailbag is empty. Time to remedy this with a dip into the fetid well of upcoming YNBH featurettes--because filling a news hole isn't nearly as easy as they make it look in stag films.

Anti-Incumbency tidal wave claims Baltimore's Dog Warden.

Marcus Bachmann: "Village People's homosexuality was a hot, wet, delicious choice."

Goddard College student's toilet stall graffiti-themed folklore thesis garnering early Pulitzer buzz.

Franz Ferdinand now struggling to outsell actual Franz Ferdinand.

Medical Mystery: Everybody from 1896 either dead or missing.

Study: Lazy urban youth now engaging in The Half Dozens.

Labyrinth holding steady as Tom Cruise's 23rd best movie.

Self-Immolation Nation may go a touch too far, concede Fox Reality execs.

The Green Lantern reportedly not as good as that stupid whore Ella said it was. 

I'm in like with you,
Denny DelVecchio

11 comments:

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

hmm... now that you mention it, where are all those people from the nineteenth century? i call shenanigans!

Denny DelVecchio said...

That's like the 1900s right?

singlegirlie said...

The cowboy looks like Leonardo DiCaprio with a mustache. I always preferred the construction worker. How do you look in a hardhat, Denny?

frigginloon said...

"Labyrinth holding steady as Tom Cruise's 23rd best movie."

Did I just wet myself?

nursemyra said...

I'm interested in that medical mystery. Tell me more...

bschooled said...

"Crotchless" are my favorite kind of chaps.

ps. I love it when you combine little words with big words.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Single: I think you can guess.

@Loon: If in public, that would be sort of awesome.

@Good Nurse: It's my penis. I've always just sort of lived with it.

@B: Is there any other kind?

pattypunker said...

michelle bachmann's news hole needs a plug and some feminine itch cream. i mean isn't it obvious?

Denny DelVecchio said...

I think her husband's gets a lot more attention.

womenarefrommars said...

Marcus Bachmann. Hi-lay.

Dr. Cynicism said...

Wait what? Marcus Bachmann displays feminine qualities?